Assuming that the conspiracy theorists on the history channel are right (and why wouldn’t they be?), 2012 will be the last election America sees before total destruction. Or the end times… whichever comes first. So on a rainy, grey-but-a-darker-grey-than-usual shitty Chicago night, with half the streets blocked up as Uncle Joe Biden told his motorcade “ignore your GPS, I’ve been here before and I know where I’m going!” and the bulk of the city was biting their nails waitingto see if Mitt Romney or Barack Obama would be elected president, if close tallies would have the game running into overtime, or if Green Party candidate Jill Stein got the coveted 15% of the popular vote that would let them compete for realsies next time, we decided to lighten the mood with a night of comedy, music, leftover Halloween candy, and star-studden and patriotic burlesque.

Luckily for us, the electoral votes came in early and Mitt Romney isn’t the guy who won, so people were free to relax and enjoy an opening performance from improv troupe Octavarius, who were joined by burger-centric punk band The Hamburglars, Josephine Shaker doing a striptease to a Raphael Saadiq song about voting, Sidney Scarlet flying around the stage in nothing but pasties and glitter wings to the original “American Woman”, the Hey Cliche Video Club remixing weird political videos live, and music from DJ Demchuk and Select Inverse. It was a great night (for us, for Chicago, for America blahhhh blahhhh blahh etc.) and if there is a 2016 to have a presidential election in, I hope to be doing it all over again.

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